embracing it

the other night in church we talked about something that has been on my mind for a while. it was a thought, though, that i was having a hard time putting words to. and, in a way, a thought that i was afraid to voice because i wasn't sure how people would react to it. i'll share it, you think about it and i'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter.

WARNING: scattered thoughts ahead!!!

we, as people in general, do not like pain or suffering. we don't want to have it, we don't want our family to have it, we don't want our friends to have it, and, deep down, i don't think we even want our enemies to have it. it's not something we look forward to, or that we jump for joy when we end up having it. we don't want to hear about it, we don't want to read about it, and we certainly don't really want to even talk about it-if it's someone else's pain, that is. our's, well, depending on what it is, we might really want to talk about it...but never really feel like anyone actually wants to hear. when we do talk about it, a lot of times we get cliche responses to it. "way too busy week at work has you totally stressed and overwhelmed? you're taking it home with you and it's effecting your relationships with your family??...oh well, the big project will be finished next week, right...then everything will go back to normal!!!" "you just found out your mom is dying of cancer? that's rough, but you know to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord!!!" "you're going through a terrible divorce? that's not good... but you know what they say, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!!!"
these things are always said with the three !!!, in such a positive manner...but i can't help but wonder how they sound to the one who is hurting? my guess is trite and cliche, whether the response is true or not. i hesitate to even voice this thought because i don't want you to think that i think that the Bible is true. i certainly believe it when Paul writes in Romans, "and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose..." i am just questioning whether or not we actually mean that when we say it, or if we say it because it's an easy out. it's a quick response to pain in the life of believers, whatever that pain may be. and then, we turn and walk away from that poor brother or sister, running to a lighter, happier conversation. when what we really need to be doing, what we are even called to do, is to stay with that person and weep with them. we are all up for the "rejoice with those who rejoice," but so few people who stick near in that time of weeping. and we need to learn to do that... we need to learn to listen, no... really listen, not just hear them. i think part of that listening entails coming alongside our brother for the length of the problem...bearing one another's burdens. if you've ever had someone do that for you in your time of suffering, then you know just what a wonderful thing it is...and how, in some ways, when friends come alongside you and help bear up those hard things, those things seem just a little bitty bit lighter...and it causes you to think that maybe, just maybe..you are going to make it through. and, that, my friend, is what brotherhood/sisterhood is all about....



by the way: i changed our blog settings so now anyone can comment, not just google users. i didn't realize i had it that way.... so looking forward to hearing from all of you non-googlers!! :)