38 weeks: a new resolve

nearly this entire pregnancy has been filled with people (including and especially doctors and nurses) telling me that this baby is going to come early. he has consistantly measured 2 weeks ahead of his actual age, which doesn't mean that he is actually that age...but it does mean that he has been a big baby all along. ryan and i quickly became convinced that he'd be here early. in fact, we were thinking we'd have an end of march baby. but, march has come and gone and noah is still snug inside my belly. after going to the doctor yesterday and hearing that he might not come as early as we had hoped because i'm progressing slowly, we were quite disappointed. actually, i cried..no maybe sobbed is a better word.. i sobbed for like an hour straight. and i couldn't even talk about why i was so upset... i think i had geared myself all up (i have been having contractions since sunday, feeling quite nauseous since saturday and been all crampy since monday) to thinking that i'd be further along in the whole process than i was. so, not only was i bummed to hear that i hadn't progressed much, i was bummed to realize that all these icky feelings are just the beginning...so, i came home and laid in the bed for a while- having a huge pity party, and then came downstairs to talk to my mom. one thing that is great about moms in this whole pregnancy (and then baby) ordeal, they really understand a lot..because, well, they have been through it a few times before (6 times for my mom! go mom! ;)). i didn't even have to really say anything, she just understood my disappointment. she took ryan and i, along with hopie and mollie, out to dinner at my favorite place-J Alexanders, and then to a movie...it was a great distraction, and by the end of the night, i felt much better. after sleeping with my feelings (which mostly means thinking about them while i couldn't sleep), i have a new resolve. i'm not going to be pregnant forever...noah is going to come, eventually...and, so, i'm going to enjoy every minute of the last few days or weeks of this pregnancy. so what my fingers are swollen bigger than ryan's big toes!? it is nice that noah is so compact right now...i was laughing last night saying that he's so easy to carry around everywhere these days and my hands are free to do whatever!

pregnancy is "the best".... (or so nacho might say)