1st check-up

we had a good report from the doc today. i was a little concerned about whether noah had been getting enough to eat, since he gets hungry so often after eating sometimes...but i need not have worried over such a thing. while the goal for most babies is to regain their original weight by the time he/she is two weeks old, noah weighed in at 11 lbs 1 oz and measured 23 inches long! when the doctor learned that he's grown that much solely on mommy milk, he said that if it weren't for the bird flu, he'd send me to far away countries to feed malnourished children. so apparently my supply is nutritious and plentiful enough for noah! :)

the doctor we are seeing was ryan's pediatrician and he is just wonderful. he was so funny and had a sweet spirit about him, while at the same time seemed to know what he was doing (he must be good since he's been in the business at least 26 years!). he talked to me a good bit about how things are going on my end and was careful to explain things to me all along the way (like why noah's umbillical cord hasn't fallen off yet and other things)...he also told me that all that stuff you hear about what you need to not eat while breastfeeding is hogwash. he said i could eat and drink pretty much whatever i want...i think his exact words at one point were, "have a few beers, it won't hurt him...just stay away from herorin and you'll be good to go!"

here's some pictures from our visit...notice his shirt, which i managed to get almost in focus, but unfortunately i missed most of his hair in the picture (which is what makes the outfit so funny)..see previous pictures

first day on our own

ryan went back to work full time today (full time between his two part time jobs) and it has been a little tough without him, especially this morning. noah was super fussy and apparently all he wanted to do was eat...i fed him 3 times between 6:55 and 8:30, and we aren't talking short feedings. he kept pulling away, thinking he was full...only to realize 15 minutes later that he was actually starving still. then he'd start sucking on his little hands like a crazy fella. i cannot believe how much he can eat. by the end of the 3rd feeding, i was pretty sure i was out of milk for the time being, so i had to console his fussiness in other ways. i'm interested to see what the doc will say tomorrow about whether he is getting enough milk. i hope he is, but i worry sometimes that he might because of his hunger binges. on top of all the eating, he refused to take a nap. i've been trying hard to not let him always fall asleep while he's feeding so that he won't get too used to that...but it's hard laying him down when he starts crying a minute later. he gets so worked up, it's just pitiful. and it breaks my heart. but, i think it's the best for him-at least from what i've been reading...we are going to try it for a while and see how it works for us. we are learning that babies everywhere are not the same, so what works for others might not work for our little one. it'd be nice if there was something that always worked for everyone everywhere, but then-we'd probably miss out on individuals having personalities, and that would be terrible. even at 2 weeks, we can see noah's little personality developing and it's so neat to see!

2 weeks

it's hard to believe noah is already 2 weeks old. i know 2 weeks doesn't sound like much, but he's already changed so much in such a short time-it's crazy! he is awake and alert more often these days, which is fun. he even smiles at us occassionally, and we'd like to think it's because he thinks we are funny-we tell him jokes and he smiles, it's great! ;)
*we are amazed at how much he goes to the bathroom. in the morning, he seems to have a hard time controlling himself, or he just enjoys the free feeling of no diaper. the routine goes like this usually-he has a dirty diaper, so we start the process of changing that...once he's wiped clean, he starts to poopie, which we quickly grab a diaper, wipe, or the nearest blanket to try to catch some of the poopie (usually to no avail)..once he stops, we wipe his cute little bottom clean and then by the time we grab a new diaper, he has peed all over himself, the changing table, and sometimes even me or ryan...so, we wipe him again and reach for another diaper, only to hear the unfortunate sound of him pooping everywhere AGAIN. what a mess! it's funny to think about happening, but reallllllyyy not fun during the early morning hours. so, we are thinking about starting potty training in a month or so...
*we had some wonderful company today! my dad and bette came by for a visit-noah showed his love by teeteeing through his diaper, onesie AND blanket-soaking even through pop's jeans! pretty impressive stuff! additionally, my cousin jamie came over with her 8 month old twins. we have talked about getting together for months and it just never quite worked out, so i was so glad when she called and said she was coming to surprise us today! her kids are adorable, and catching up with her was great! plus, she told me all about how to use my pump to get some extra milk, which i am quite thankful for! i have been scared to even try because i had not a clue as to what i'd be doing. it was so great for her to walk me through it-i think i know enough now to give it a try when i'm ready. i have been nervous about introducing noah to the occassional bottle for fear he will stop nursing so well...but ryan and i both think it might be worth it, so we will see.
*noah is sleeping better at night, for which we are all thankful. it is crazy that we feel like sleeping 3 or 4 hours at a time is the most wonderful thing in the world right now. but it so beats half an hour or an hour!!

highlight of my day

nursing in the car while parked next to this old man who sat in his car nearly the whole time noah was eating. good stuff.

thoughts

in the wee hours of the morning when ryan leaves for work, i find myself a little jealous that he gets to leave while i stay home with the crying baby. noah's prime time is somewhere between 3 am and 8 am-he's awake and fussy constantly. it makes it awfully hard when ryan leaves between 5 and 6...hard for me, and i'm sure hard for ryan as he has to leave not only a crying baby, but also a sobbing wife...
i also find myself thinking things are a bit unfair-i mean, most of the time, i enjoy feeding noah because it means a little special one on one time with him (and i'm amazed at the way our bodies are built for taking care of babies), but i'd be okay with ryan having just one boob...you know, to help out with the feedings every now and then...

thank goodness!

i forgot to mention in my previous post that i got my staples out yesterday! i was nervous about going to get this done, as i have never had staples anywhere in my body-and, well, the prospect of having someone take them out of me was a bit terrifying. i just kept imagining those little staple pullers that you use at work and how they always rip the paper regardless of how careful you are when you are using them....and imagine that happening to my tummy. not a pleasant thought. i just kept telling myself, "i made it through birthing a baby...i can do this!" even so, i was terrified. i was also nervous about leaving noah with ryan in the waiting room-scared he'd wake up hungry and not be consolable...that's the only drawback about breastfeeding-kinda of leaves daddy in a pinch when i'm not around! anyway, we made it to the doctor fine, albeit a few minutes late (getting a newborn ready takes a little extra time) and way too soon, they called me to the back. the nurse had a handful of tools as she laid me back and prepared my stomach for the removal. i guess i must have looked a bit pale because she kept asking if i was okay. after cleaning me and chatting for a bit about the baby, she apologized for what she was about to do. that's never a good sign, huh? but, as she pulled out her pliars and began to pluck, i was amazed at how little sensation i was feeling. it just felt like a little tug-nothing too terrible. as she finished up, i was tempted to ask her if i could take the staples with me-you know, like a little suvenior..but i lost the courage in the end. after she taped me up-like those thin strips of tape are really going to hold me together-she began to recite all the things i needed to be careful about doing/not doing. at the top of her list, "no sweeping, vacuuming, or mopping for you." thank the Lord! i was so glad to hear that news...because, a week and a half after having my newborn wrestled from my tummy, i have really had a hankering for mopping our house!

glorious sleep

we got some much needed rest last night thanks to our wonderful grammie! noah spent the first part of the night upstairs, and then after he got a clean diaper and a full tummy, he went downstairs to spend some quality time with grammie. she stayed up with him for about an hour and then slept with him in "noah's room" downstairs. i woke up a few hours later ready to feed him...when i came downstairs to get him, i discovered he was just getting ready to eat (the body is an amazing thing, huh?). after he ate around 6:00, he was wide awake...so ryan got all ready to take him for a spin around the block..he loves his car seat-so much so that by the time ryan put him inside and walked down the stairs, he was already asleep. ryan kept him by his side while he did some work on the computer-which allowed me a few more hours of sleep..all in all, i'm pretty sure i got around 9 hours of sleep total-which hasn't happened in a LONG time (since way before noah was born, i think)! i feel like a new person! and now, ryan and noah are napping upstairs and grammie is napping in her room, so i don't feel quite so bad about them staying up with him earlier... :)

our day

in some ways today, i have felt like a newborn myself. you know how they say all little babies do is sleep, eat and poop...well, i have joined noah in those activities-he's been looking like he's been having such a good time. for the most part, i have slept when noah was sleeping...ate a little here and there...and, well, gone to the potty a few times. and that has been my day. we did hear very exciting news yesterday-they put a redbox in the walgreens just minutes from our house! ryan ventured out last night and got a few movies for us to watch, which has been nice. earlier, we watched the tale of despereaux, which all in all was not a bad movie. it has such a good message about courage and not being afraid that made up for any lack in the story.

yesterday, we drove down to the ross bridge neighborhood park and had a little stroll. noah loves his stroller (thanks cece and papa g!)!
and grammie went with us...

then...grammie had a cake at her house for us to celebrate noah's one week birthday!!

as you can see, he was all about the party!

one week (complete with pictures)

last week at this time, i was just coming out of the operating room with our brand new little one snug in my arms! despite the lack of sleep and other ups and downs of parenthood, i am so thankful that we aren't at the hospital any more. i am feeling better and better each day and slowly by slowly, my stitched up tummy is healing. compared to the pain i was in a few days ago, i think i could run a marathon today (that is if i liked running, which i don't)!

getting ready to head into the o.r. after pushing for an hour...ryan actually was the delivering doctor, or, well, dressed like him at least! :)

during my first moments with our little one. i was so drugged out that i didn't even know what to think. i was terrified that i was going to drop him because i didn't feel like i had any control over my arms. thankfully, they wrapped him in with me so that never would have happened! those nurses are so smart!

presenting Noah Ryan Smith: 9lbs 13 oz, 22.25 inches long! today is officially noah's one week birthday! and our night last night turned out to be one big party! ruthie had prom last night and planned to have an after-prom party at the house, complete with a space bounce and unimaginable food! since we knew they'd be late in getting here, hopie and mollie had a pre-prom party complete with the same fun! since we are up all hours of the night anyway, we decided to crash the parties, which turned out to be a great idea. we had lots of yummy (albeit unhealthy) party food at the first party! then our sweet grammie (aka my mom) said she would take care of noah while we got some much needed sleep. sleep is such a luxury these days that we dared not pass her up and quickly headed upstairs to get a wee bit of shut eye, with her promise to call us or come up at the slightest hint of distress in noah. ;) we laid down and not two minutes later, ryan was out like a log! i, however, had the hardest time falling asleep. i think my lack of sleep has caught up with me and i am now so far past the point of exhaustion that i can't sleep-oh the irony! all the same, i got a good three hours of resting my eyes and ryan got almost as much of sleep, both of which we were VERY thankful for!! my mom texted us right around 1 to let us know that the second party was beginning and breakfast was ready. we came down to the biggest feast i've seen-pigs in a blanket, sausage balls, breakfast casserole, fruit and yogurt, strawberries and chocolate, biscuits, and more! we ate until our hearts were content and then took sweet noah up to enjoy some food of his own. the rest of the night was up and down...for some reason noah doesn't love sleeping in his cradle. two people told me yesterday that it is probably because we hold him too much during the day, which i suppose could be the case. we don't like to put him down, and when our arms tire completely out, there are always plenty of other willing people who are begging to hold him... we don't want him to feel unloved! :) all the same, we are going to try over the next few days to put him down when he sleeps, to see if that doesn't help a little.
a few more pictures...

life with a newborn

i knew that life would be different when noah got here, but i had no idea how much. he is a wonderful baby, but he's keeping us busy! and when we aren't busy, we are catching up on a little missed sleep. people keep asking when i'm going to put pictures on the blog and i earnestly want to show off our little boy, but i have yet to find the time to do that. right now, noah's asleep and ryan's making us some dinner (what great boys i have!), but i have no clue where our camera and cord is to upload pictures. i did put quite a few on facebook from my mom's computer over the weekend, so check those out...and please be patient for more to come. i will say that noah has got to be one of the most photographed babies around! it felt like the paparazzi was at the hospital with us, so often were flashes going off! we were watching a video of when everyone first got to see noah (as he was getting his first official bath) and there are people all in front of the video camera with their cameras and phones snapping pictures like crazy! it was a funny sight to see...but, what can i say? he's a beautiful baby! :)
noah is a growing boy and is doing wonderfully at nursing! for whatever reason, he latched right on first thing and hasn't stopped since! he eats about a zillion times a day, which gives us lots of sweet time together. sometimes in the middle of the night, i don't feel at all like nursing, but once we get started, i am always reminded of what a precious gift it is to be able to do this special thing for your child. ryan keeps saying that he is jealous that he doesn't have milk coming out of him-lol!
well, dinner is nearly served, so i better run. but a word for all of you family and friends: we LOVE visitors! please don't feel like you are intruding and come on over and meet this precious baby! he'll take your heart... :)

we made it!

we are home from the hospital and soooo thrilled to be! pictures to come soon!

procrastination

i'm a worrier by nature, though i lived in denial for many years. these days, i don't shy away from admitting it, and find myself continually turning to the Lord and begging him for peace. as i have neared the end of this pregnancy, i have found myself overwhelmed with worries most days. and now that we have a set date, i find myself filled with anxious thoughts about the impending labor, birth and then life of our little one. but i have decided to procrastinate on worrying any more... i put off everything else when i don't want to deal with it, so why not this? and when those little worries do try to slip in, i try to remember my favorite bible verse from my younger years: "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

39 weeks

we went for our check-up yesterday and i was really hoping to be admitted-sure that i was nearing the time for noah's birth. i got especially excited when my nurse told me that my doc was down in delivery, thinking surely this was a sign that yesterday was the day! while we were waiting for her to come back up, we did another scan and were told that noah's looking to be a little over 9 lbs right now...only an estimate, which can be off by as much as a pound in either direction. that's all well and good if they are overestimating, but if they are underestimating-yikes! during the ultrasound, the tech tried to get a good picture of noah's sweet face, but unfortunately his cheeks were taking up all the room! he's nice and plump, it seems..and "finished cooking" as our doctor put it. after discussing our options for quite a while, we decided to give him one more week to come on his own...if he does, we will see how it goes. the doctor was skeptical, at best, about me being able to push him out at his size (those chubby cheeks are attached to a pretty big head, you know), but she said we could try if i go into labor on my own. otherwise, we will have a c-section next week...it was a tough decision, but we are going with the opinion of our doctor-that's what we pay the big bucks for, right? so, we have a week to get used to the idea, so long as he doesn't come first (which would be a-okay with us). anyone out there with good c-section stories, i'd be glad to hear from you... :)

a little of this...a little of that

*guess who is winning her bracket for the ncaa men's basketball championship? this girl right here! i actually picked the final two teams that are in the tourney-now if only north carolina can pull out the win. then i will be the envy of my husband and all those other men who picked based on knowledge rather than intuition...;)

*over the weekend, we celebrated ryan's grandma's 93rd birthday! nearly the whole family made it in to town for the party and we all went to eat together at a japanese steakhouse. it's always so neat watching them cook your food right in front of you, but i usually end up feeling bad for the cooks who get an older group like ours. they do all these tricks and things to wow their audiences, which works the first time or two you go...but after that, other things become more entertaining and they are left in the dust with their neat little tricks. i think it's always more fun to get a table full of kids-they always are into it! and they are fun to watch as they watch the meal being prepared.

*i feel like the pressure is still on for having this little one. i almost dreaded going to church yesterday because i could hear the questions that ryan and i inevitably got.. "you haven't had that baby yet?" "when is he supposed to be here again?" "you haven't had that baby yet?!" we did get a ton of those questions, but i know it's only because everyone is so excited to finally meet noah (as are we). all the same, as jodi was telling me the other day, "it's not like i'm holding him hostage in here or anything!"

*my little 2 year old cousin(in law) crawled up to sit with me yesterday. he, like most little boys his age, has the tendancy to hit a little, and he kept trying to hit my tummy...which i'm sure looked quite enticing to him-this big round thing poking out, "is that a ball??" anyway, i kept saying, "no buddy, don't hit. there's a baby in there, you have to be gentle." at first, his eyes lit up and he questioned, "baby??" i tried to explain, "yes, a little baby that hasn't been born just yet..." but he just didn't quite get it. he kept trying to pull my shirt up a little so he could see the baby. it was so adorable!

a big mistake

i had a brief "am i going into labor?!" panicky moment earlier today. i was having a nice spicy mexican lunch with two of my dear little sisters, trying to induce some natural labor, when i started having strange pains in my stomach. my appetite went away very quickly and was replaced by an imminent feeling of being about to puke my guts out. let me just say, not a pleasant feeling when you are still sitting at the mexican restaurant with the remains of your food before you. finally, we got our check and got out...i walked around a bit, thought about doing a little shopping, bought some amazing new sugar body scrub that maybe just might help my constant itchiness..and i felt much better. the standing up and moving helped, so i assumed that i surely must not be going in to labor. but, the question returned rather quickly when i got in the car to drive home. terrible, terrible stomach pains...but after a moment, i realized that there was no contracting coming with this weird feeling. that's when it hit me: that early morning snack i had might not have been the best idea. i had assumed a little extra fiber could only help the whole process, but i have quickly abandoned any such thought. fiber one bars and pregnancy are not, i repeat NOT, a good mix...especially so late in the game! 

38 weeks: a new resolve

nearly this entire pregnancy has been filled with people (including and especially doctors and nurses) telling me that this baby is going to come early. he has consistantly measured 2 weeks ahead of his actual age, which doesn't mean that he is actually that age...but it does mean that he has been a big baby all along. ryan and i quickly became convinced that he'd be here early. in fact, we were thinking we'd have an end of march baby. but, march has come and gone and noah is still snug inside my belly. after going to the doctor yesterday and hearing that he might not come as early as we had hoped because i'm progressing slowly, we were quite disappointed. actually, i cried..no maybe sobbed is a better word.. i sobbed for like an hour straight. and i couldn't even talk about why i was so upset... i think i had geared myself all up (i have been having contractions since sunday, feeling quite nauseous since saturday and been all crampy since monday) to thinking that i'd be further along in the whole process than i was. so, not only was i bummed to hear that i hadn't progressed much, i was bummed to realize that all these icky feelings are just the beginning...so, i came home and laid in the bed for a while- having a huge pity party, and then came downstairs to talk to my mom. one thing that is great about moms in this whole pregnancy (and then baby) ordeal, they really understand a lot..because, well, they have been through it a few times before (6 times for my mom! go mom! ;)). i didn't even have to really say anything, she just understood my disappointment. she took ryan and i, along with hopie and mollie, out to dinner at my favorite place-J Alexanders, and then to a movie...it was a great distraction, and by the end of the night, i felt much better. after sleeping with my feelings (which mostly means thinking about them while i couldn't sleep), i have a new resolve. i'm not going to be pregnant forever...noah is going to come, eventually...and, so, i'm going to enjoy every minute of the last few days or weeks of this pregnancy. so what my fingers are swollen bigger than ryan's big toes!? it is nice that noah is so compact right now...i was laughing last night saying that he's so easy to carry around everywhere these days and my hands are free to do whatever!

pregnancy is "the best".... (or so nacho might say)