empathy as a way of being

em·pa·thy [em-puh-thee] --

the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

i was reading some random things this morning and came across the title of this blog. i jotted it on a post-it because i wanted to think about it a little more. i haven't completed my thoughts on it, but it really is a very interesting idea, if you ask me. empathy is something that we talked about all the time in my counseling classes at southeastern. it's a characteristic that i think, on some days, that i have a little bit too much of. it's something about me that makes me question time and time again whether or not i could actually be a counselor.

empathy, as the definition (borrowed from dictionary.com) says, is about identifying with the feelings of others. it's not about just saying, "oh that sounds terrible," but it's about stepping beyond that line, about taking some time to really attempt to walk in the shoes of another. though, i don't think there is anyway you can truly understand what another person is going through at any given time...i think a true sense of empathy might get you close. empathy is about subjectivity, rather than objectivity. it's about entering into another person's world and walking with them, sometimes through hell and back..

often times my problem is not a lack of empathy, but an excess of it. i find myself "feeling" way too much for another person and end up struggling right alongside them. i think this is a bad thing for a person thinking about going into the counseling profession... because i think of all the people who would be coming to me to talk about their problems and, in a sense, find answers to them. if all i can do is feel some of their pain with them, i won't have done much for them. i get way to subjective, when what they are really asking for is objectivity. obviously they are subjective to their own problems and many times people ask for help from others because they want someone to be able to step away from their problems in order to help them.

i think there is a healthy balance out there...i've seen it in some dear friends. i hope to maybe be there one day. until then, i will continue to question my counseling calling.... and just see what the Lord says. :)