surprise!

life is so unpredictable at times! i always find myself thinking i just might have it figured out, and then something happens and i realize i don't even have a clue... i am excited about the potential for change in our life right now. we have been kind of coasting along for the past few months, trying to figure out exactly which direction we are headed. having a baby is a huge adjustment. it's everything we thought it would be and more, yet at the same time nothing like we thought it would be. i thought it would be chocolate chips and kisses, smiles and sunshine all the day long...and while it is sometimes, it certainly isn't always that. i have seen a side of me that i never knew existed. it's ridiculous how mad i can be at my little baby sometime, but equally ridiculous, maybe even ri-donk-ulous (i actually heard someone use that in a sentence the other day...seriously) how much i love him. over the past few months, we have slowly adjusted to our new little family of three. i was reading a friend's blog and was reminded that last year, just around this time ryan and i found out that we were going to have a little one. the whole ordeal was quite surreal for us. i actually noticed something was up and decided to take a pregnancy test, just to mark that off my list. i was pretty positive that i wasn't preggo, but, at the same time, always a little nervous that i could be (i think i took like 3 pregnancy tests within the first month of marriage!). much to my surprise, the little stick had a plus sign on it...so, of course, i took another one-to be sure that the first one wasn't a dud. then, i rushed to the store and bought two more sets of tests to take, just to be sure and called ryan in a frenzy, asking him to meet me at the school ASAP. i jumped out of the car when i got there, ran to him and blurted out, "i think i'm pregnant!" i was in such a panic. he said that i should take the other tests and see what the outcome of those were...maybe it was something i ate? so, the next two mornings, i saved all my pee through the night, and did two more tests...only to see two more plus signs. each a little darker than the one before. first thing monday morning, i called the local obgyn and asked them if i could come in for a test. they, of course, asked if i had taken a home pregnancy test. i told them i had taken three, but that i had read that they are only 99.9% accurate...couldn't i get a blood test, just to make sure i did get a false negative?? the lady actually laughed at me and told me that i certainly must be pregnant...and so i was. and now, a year later, i have a 3 1/2 month old baby-the sweetest little guy in the world!
and now..more winds of change are blowing our way. i always assumed that i would be a stay-at-home-mom and that i would absolutely love it. while i do absolutely, undoubtedly, with all my little heart love our sweet noah, i do not always love staying at home...and, on top of that, having a baby is so expensive (much more than i would have imagine. fyi: just because you pay your insurance co-pay doesn't mean that you won't still have to pay doctor's bills...)! so, for the past few weeks, ryan and i have been praying about either him finding a new job or me finding a little part time, side job. i have been pretty picky about the hours i would work...and not really seriously looking...just kind of contemplating the idea of working a few hours a week... and wouldn't you know, out of seemingly nowhere, came a job offer. a great job offer. a i can't believe they actually offered me this job offer. but, we had to take some time to see if this job would work for us...and i was a little worried that the offer would be taken back because we were so slow in responding. but, as it turns out, the job is perfect, perfect, perfect for me for this time in my life. i'll be doing something i will really enjoy...getting to invest a little of myself into a few others-and the best part, i'll get paid for it! so, we can finally get all of the crazy hospital bills paid off (no circumcision for the next boy i have and no epidural for me even if i do have to have another csection...i can suck it up! gotta save money where you can, right??)! even with this great new job, we will continue to look for something that actually makes ryan's heart sing. he is such a trooper to work two jobs that he doesn't really love (for months and months...) just to bring home the bacon (even though we don't actually eat bacon). we have found a potential for him, but are slowly working through the details to see if it will actually be a fit for us. in the meantime, we continue to pray for the Lord's direction!
until next time...