preciousness

sometimes i swear i feel like the milk that i pump is liquid gold...possibly even immensely more valuable. it is the secret to my sanity these days, the means of a little "freedom" every now and then. i had a breakdown today in the middle of a nice trip to aldridge gardens. ryan took noah and i to the Y near his work to watch him play basketball with some of his co-workers. while this sounded like  fun idea at first (i'll be honest, anything that gets us out of the house is appealing these days), it turned on me later. first of all, it's not all that fun watching people play basketball...while i sit longing to play on the sidelines. i felt a little like the kid who is picked last for the kickball team-not too fun! second of all, i had to take a bottle of my aforementioned liquid gold because i didn't want to nurse in the middle of the Y. later in the day, while we were walking around the gardens, my mom called and said she wanted to meet us for dinner and then take me, along with my sisters, to get our nails done. i LOVE getting my nails done and have missed several invites recently because the nail salon is just not the best place for a newborn...but, since ryan was off this afternoon and evening, i figured he could easily take noah home and have a boy's night. not a big deal, except for feeding him...thus the reason for my breakdown-i was going to either have to give up another bottle of my precious gold or turn down a mani/pedi trip!! it's times like these where, i must be honest, i start feeling a little trapped...i wish we lived in a country where nursing in public was a little more normal and that i felt a little more natural about it. but the truth it, this place is not built for nursing moms...not the malls, not the restaurants, not the churches. so, how is a nursing mom supposed to make it?! pumping is great and i'm super thankful for it, but i can only pump about 7 or so ounces a day, which is a little more than one bottle for my chunky monkey...and that 7 oz isn't all pumped until the very end of the day...which is good for storing, but not for actually getting out. unless i plan to only go every other day. anyway, it's all a quandry that i haven't quite figured out...but hopefully one day soon!