a new discovery

i have, for quite a while now, been a fan of john piper! i enjoy reading/listening to his sermons, and when i recently shared one with a friend, he told me about the narrative poems piper has written. so, today, i took some time to look through some of them and decided to listen to one he wrote about ruth. i picked it because ryan is translating through ruth in hebrew right now...so it comes up in conversation from time to time. anyway, i enjoyed the poem very much. this part really stood out to me: 

And tears

cannot conceal that generations yet

to come through us, will not forget

to praise the bitter providence

of God that wrought for us immense

and precious mercies in this place

and lavished me with painful grace.

a rod of famine was the price

for me, that opened paradise.

(You can read or listen to the rest of the poem here) 

until next time...

date night

the other night we went downtown and had a nice little date... can you guess where?!?

make-overs

it seems like every other post is about some television show i've recently come to enjoy. i apologize for that, especially for all of you who think television is a waste of time-i'm probably offending you with all my talk of it. deep down, i agree that it's usually a waste of time...there are other things i could be doing, but honestly, sometimes it's nice to chill in front of the tv and enjoy a good show! for years, we didn't have television to watch (i mean, like the past 8 years or so!), so maybe that's why i'm eating it up right now...
anywho, on to the good stuff, one of the shows i love to watch is TLC's "what not to wear." people vote in their friends, family members and co-workers who seem to have no fashion sense, and in the course of an hour, they are completely made-over...transformed...metamorphisized... and i love to see this change. i think about the verse in matthew where Jesus says, "don't worry about your life...about what you will eat or drink or what you will wear...for isn't life more than these things?" (paraphrased)...and as much as i love to see the change in what these fashion-challenged people wear, i like to see the transformation that takes place inside. so many of these people start the show with a very low self-esteem. they don't feel very good about their bodies, which is displayed outwardly by tacky clothing, oversized clothing, overly-revealing clothing, or just plain ugly clothing...the heart of the problem, though, is much much deeper than the wearing of what should not be worn. and oddly enough, i think that has been touched on in every episode i've seen. and the people come out, at the end of the week, with their sweet new clothes, great hair-cuts and perfect make-up (used to "enhance the beauty that's already there") not only looking better, but feeling a whole lot more confident about who they are. and really, i think this is a very good thing.
i think, too, this is a good image of all problems in life...a lot of times they masquerade themselves as shallower issues, when really they are deep down parts of who us, and deep down parts of the person we see at work each day, or that we share a bed with at night. maybe we just need to take a little time to look a little deeper..
just a thought...

what makes a house a home?

two months ago, i might have said that a house becomes a home when you have lived in it a while (say, like 2 months?)... but, alas, i now know the untruth of that thought. i like our new house alright...there are definitely some really nice things about it that we didn't have it our apartment back home-extra space, a fireplace, our own garage.... and even though i appreciate those things and am thankful for a nice place to live for a decent price. but all the same, it doesn't feel like our home yet. i definitely don't agree with those cliche statements like "home is where the heart is" and "home is where you hang your hat." of course, maybe the first one could be true and that could be why this doesn't quite feel like home just yet...because part of my heart is still in the good ole 'ham....
until next time...

yayyyyyy!!!

my dear brother is getting married!!!! he proposed to his precious girlfriend (of three years) this afternoon! we are absolutely thrilled...as a girl with just one lonely brother, i don't think i could have picked a better women for my brother, and to thusly be, my sister-in-law!! they've already picked a date even-june 20th, 2009! we are so, so excited! after the proposal (at the botanical gardens), they went to my mom's and had a huge party with all our family and friends. and thanks to amazing technology, my sister skyped us and we got to be part of the party! i seriously have been sitting at the computer for nearly 3 hours now, chatting with different people and watching all the happenings! right now, they are opening cards and gifts, and i get to be a part of even that. it's been so fun to feel a part of things even though we didn't get to physically be there. i've been so bummed all day that we don't get to be part of it all....but this was nice! so congrats to them (even though they don't actually read my blog)! love love!!

even yarn

you all saw the beautiful (lol) scarf that i began knitting recently. well, i had this new plan as far as knitting is concerned, and that was to buy the yarn as needed. what has happened in the past (when we actually had extra money ;)) when i was at a store with yarn, i would carefully look through all the yarn. if i found some that i really liked, i would go ahead and buy it and think "i just might want to make a sweater out of this, so i better get a couple of rolls" (if it was at all reasonably priced). well, now in our "poor" days, we just don't have a lot of extra money for me to go off buying 10 rolls of yarns...so, i decided a better plan would be, instead of buying 10 rolls of a particular yarn i liked and never getting around to making anything wonderful with it, i would just buy one roll and when i began my beautiful project, i could buy another ball when needed. well, i've learned this might not be the best way to do it. let me just say, i have absolutely been loving the yarn in the scarf...so, i got through one ball and begged ryan to take me to michaels to get another one. so, after much groveling, ryan finally took me last night and you'll never believe what happened. the yarn was gone! gone, i say! and it had only been like 3 days since i bought the other ball and there was TONS of it... i walked around and around and around, thinking maybe they had reorganized, but NOTHING! so, i pouted and decided i would just have to get a different yarn and start a new project (it's not like i don't have enough going already)....so, i picked out three different yarns that i liked and decided i'd get all of them, "to make up for the never to be finished beautiful scarf i've been working on..." then it hit me, like a word from above "samantha, look at the clearance yarn!!" so, not wanting to ignore the voice, i decided to do just that, and walked over to the clearance section and low and behold there were three balls of my yarn just sitting there all by themselves, screaming "buy me! buy me!" i picked one up and saw that it was on sale for $2 (for those of you who aren't yarn buyers-that is superSUPER cheap for good yarn)...and three balls were just what i needed to finish my scarf. and you know what i remembered? God cares about even the little, not even all that important things in my life.....

take a few moments..

and read this: on time. it's long and you might think "education-not for me." but i think you'll find application somewhere in the article for your personal journey. i know it did!

dork city!

something about living in colorado inspires me to knit more than when we lived in alabama. i have quite a few projects going, but the one that has my attention right now is: it's a scarf and it's going to be super warm because it's really thick!

okay, here comes the dork of the day confession: i am totally hooked onto the new abc family hit show: the secret life of the american teenager. and i hate that i have to wait a whole week to see what happens after each show! it actually makes me sad....

so, for anyone who still has at least on ounce of respect for me, better things to come tomorrow!

funny story

this story is much funnier when you hear it in person, but alas... for all of those who can't see us in person right now, i can't bear for you to miss out on this laugh. like i said, yesterday we visited an anglican church, which is different from the good old baptist church we've been at for quite a while. one of the differences is in the way we partake in the Lord's supper. at the baptist church, you know, we have those nifty little trays that have the holes in them that hold those tiny cups of non-fermented wine (aka grape juice)...which the deacons pass around to the church. and then, we have little pieces of unleavened bread that are passed around before the juice. well, at the anglican church, each person goes up and receives the bread and then can either dip it in the wine or have the bread first, then the wine. well, ryan and i aren't really used to partaking in that way (though, i might say, i really enjoyed it...it felt more meaningful and personal in some ways), so we were watching those who went before us. while i held on to the bread that i was given and dipped it into the wine, ryan couldn't quite decide what he wanted to do...he put the bread into his mouth before he could stop himself, and then realized that most of the people in front of him (in his line) were dipping...so, he quickly put his hand up to his mouth and spit out his bread. at that point, he realized what he was doing and put the bread back into his mouth and then drank from the cup when he got there. quite funny, though...we had a good laugh about it! but seriously, it might have been the most moving communion experience of my life. when i got to the pastor and put my hands out (there's even significance in that...putting my hands in front of me to receive what has been given to me-physically, the bread; symbolically, the broken body of Christ), the pastor said, "Samantha, Jesus' body broken for you." for me....and then as i dipped it into the wine, i was reminded of the grace given to me. there just aren't really words to describe the experience, but it was a beautiful, beautiful thing!

like a breath of fresh air

and by fresh air, i really mean fresh, fresh air! we visited an anglican church this morning, which was a little different than what i am used to. but we both absolutely enjoyed our time of worship and study. from the moment we walked into the sanctuary, there was a feeling of reverance. ask me to describe it and i couldn't, i've been trying to put more words to it all afternoon...but not much has come to me. the whole service felt very focused and purposeful, which was a little refreshing compared to some of the other churches we've visited (not all have been bad, but some have been...). as we shared in communion together at the end of the service, tears came to my eyes because it was all such a beautiful thing. i felt more connected with other believers than i have the whole time we've been here... and we didn't really know any of the people (just two old friends!). all that to say, it was really nice...and that's all i'll say, for now...
until next time...

bombas

some days, from our little home in colorado, i am taken back to our delightful visit to antigua, guatemala last summer. we were told very soon into our time there that we should not worry when we heard the sound of a shotgun going off...even though the army was everywhere, carrying huge, illegal in the states guns..and even though they used to go around killing citizens for no reason at all. for that sound that sounded like shotguns going off was not actually that, it was just "bombas" aka fireworks. the people of guatemala apparently love these things, even though they really aren't all that exciting at all. in fact, they are super annoying. they don't light up like most of the fireworks we shoot off here, but just make a terribly loud noise. imagine a bottle-rocket, a hundred times louder. people would shoot these off all through the night and in the early hours of the morning. they shot them to celebrate everything-holidays, birthdays, weddings, a good grade at school, etc etc etc. i think some people even shot them just to make their neighbors wonder what they good news was! the noise always took me by surprise, and to tell you the truth, i was a little thankful to leave that part behind....
little did i know that there are some people who enjoyed fireworks just as much right here in littleton, colorado! the funny thing is, fireworks are illegal to shoot off here right now because it is so dry...but that has yet to stop my neighbors. every evening, they shoot off a handful for whatever reason. maybe they got a deal of the day on fireworks, maybe they are celebrating someone's birthday, or maybe they are just crazy. whatever the reason, fireworks abound. it is rare, however, to see the fireworks-you just hear them... just like in guatemala. ohhhh the bombas!
by the way, i made some absolutely delicious muffins tonight. here is a picture of ryan enjoying one (of the three that he had :)): (the recipe is on my recipe blog)

a beautiful woman

today my mimi celebrated her 80th birthday! she is one of the specialist (is that a word?) people in my life. she and my papa "practically raised" me (as she has been known to say), since my brother and i spent a ton of time with them when we were younger, while my parents were working. mimi is very near and dear to my heart. she has been such a precious encouragement with our move, too. she sends us notes every week with a little money to help us get by... i go to the mailbox every day as soon as i get home from work to check to see if there's a letter from her. it's always so fun to read about what's going on with her! and she's so encouraging to us. i mentioned the other day the wisdom of the elderly-well my mimi fits right into what i'm talking about. she has been through so much and knows in such a real way the faithfulness of God. i love hearing her stories! she's not a techno-saavy lady, so i know she won't be reading this, but i just thought i'd share with you a little celebration of her! =) (just in case you wondered, she's not smiling in the picture because she's legally blind and so she couldn't really tell where the camera was or when it was going off)

in another world of celebration-ryan got an "a" in his first semester of hebrew! he worked so so hard and i'm so so so proud! he's all into the second semester now, studying even as i write for a quiz tomorrow (where his professor will pick a random verse out of the first chapter of ruth for them to translate on their own AND he has to recite or write the Shema in hebrew)!! any kudos to ryan for doing so well!!!

until next time...
yours truly

yipee!!

we are going to have more visitors!! my mom
booked tickets last night for her and my dearest little sister, mollie, to come out-three weeks from yesterday!!!!!!!!! of course, i adore my sweet mom-a wonderful mother and a dear friend, too..(and sadly, my computer won't load a single picture of my mom and i! i tried all night and morning!! ..but i also love, love, love my little boogar mollie! we have a special relationship that's a little different than my other sisters (okay, i have special relationships with all of them..they're all a little different, though). before ryan and i got married, she spent the night in my apartment most nights-so we always had a nice little bonding time! it was hard to leave her back home and know she's going to grow up so, so much while we are away. i'm totally excited that we are going to get to spend some q.t. together very soon!
also, carol and glenn are coming just a few weeks after that!!!! ryan told me this morning that they booked their tickets, too!! i don't think i could have picked better parents in law than these.
i certainly had a time of being around parents-in-law that were not going to be good at all..and it makes me that much more thankful for the sweet ones i have! i cannot wait for them to get out here so we can spend some more time together!!!

faithfulness

during the one of my courses at sebc, we took time to study the book of lamentations. for some reason (i think maybe God has something to do with it), the things we talked about really have stuck in my mind. as many of you know, a few verses out of this strange book were once written in one of the best hymns of all times. it's a little bit ironic, though, because this is one of the saddest, most depressing books to read in the whole Bible. the people of Israel have seemingly been abandoned by the Lord. they cry out to the Lord over and over in their distress and...nothing. they are feeling the wrath of the Lord is a very powerful way and it's not any fun at all for them...as you might imagine. they feel rejected and lost. but then, right in the middle of the book, we read the words:

i remember my afflictions and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. i well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. yet this i call to mind and therefore i have hope: because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. i say to myself, 'the Lord is my portion; therefore i will wait for Him...

a ray of hope...but then the book goes right back downhill from there...with the last words of the author, "restore us to yourself, o Lord, that we may return; renew our days as of old unless you have utterly rejected us and are angry with us beyond measure." pretty hopeless ending, i'd say. of course, we know the rest of the story...but they didn't. they were living in a time of hopelessness, despair and aloneless...wondering where in the world the Lord was and why He wasn't helping them.
i could be wrong, but i think we all end up in that place from time to time in life...with the presenting circumstances being a little bit different for each one of us. i have certainly been in that place before.... but nonetheless, i know with my head even when i don't feel it in my heart: "Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness, morning by morning new mercies I see...all I have needed Thy hand hath provided! Great is Thy faithfulness Lord unto me!"

Have you met my husband, Bryan??

this morning we visited a church full of sweet, sweet people. everyone was so happy to have us there and made sure we knew it. one guy even tapped ryan on the shoulder during the middle of the offering and introduced himself and welcomed us! it wouldn't have been that big of a deal if he hadn't had a bad hearing problem, so ryan (and then i) had to practically shout so he could get our names. i got so tickled because ryan kind of mumbled his name (unbelievable, right?!) and the man said, "Brian Smith? That's a pretty common name. Or at least Smith is, I don't know about the Brian...how do you spell that? With an "a" or a "y"?" To which Ryan said, "It's actually Rya.." "Ohhh..that's a good way to spell Bryan!" LOL Then after the service, people kept greeting Bryan and I (because everyone heard our loud offering conversation). It was a nice morning, brought back a lot of memories for me. The average age of the church seemed to be about 70...and there were maybe 15 people there. The closest person to our age was probably at least 60. I really enjoyed it, though... There's so much for us to learn from the older generations of believers. I love to chat with my grandmother about things of the Lord because she knows so much...she's been around for so many years (she's turning 80 this week!) and has learned so much about the faithfulness of the Lord!

it's been a hard, hard weekend emotionally. it's strange how circumstances can not really be all that bad...but things still be hard. and that's where we are...

until next time...

i've figured out my calling!

i met today with a career assessment counselor to review a recent career assessment that i took (part of my first graduate course at denver seminary). i had a very enlightening time sharing where i've come from and where i feel i'm headed with this person. he asked thought-provoking questions and took notes as i shared my answers.. (side note: doesn't it always make you feel SO great when someone takes notes as you talk, it makes it seem like they are really listening and caring about what you are saying. of course, they could just be doodling or something!) anyway, after chatting a bit, he took time to review my scores with me and helped me to understand the data...then he took a few moments to gather his thoughts from what i had been saying. and, then, with all of the data compiled together, he showed me some good options for career paths that would be good for me based on my specific talents and strengths. and, very high on the list-a pastoral counselor!! which was just kind of funny to me... ryan and i had to call brother scott on our way home because we just knew he'd be SO proud! if that doesn't work out for me, there were other options, as well... some that were a little more helpful and feasible (not that i don't think women should be pastors, but i don't think this one should!!). based on my self-assessment and the counselors assessment, youth/child counseling looks like a really great fit for me...which is neat. i shared with him that sometimes i find myself questioning my own abilities to counsel, and it was helpful for me to see that it actually is a good fit with who i am... and to hear him kind of confirm those things was very helpful and encouraging.

a few other interesting things that ended up fairly high on my list (like somewhere in the top 20):
1. landscaping/gardening duties
2. precision detailing duties(i.e. manuel, handtool or handcraft precision detail work--dad, you should be proud!!)
3. inspecting duties
4. tree and ground cover duties
"man, i've got to get me some new duties!!!"
unfortunately, we had to cross these (and a few others) out because they just don't quite fit with me. it seems the fact that i like to work with my hands kicked back some pretty strange jobs..
overall, though, the assessment was super helpful... more of a confirmation of a direction i'm already heading in-working in a helping profession of some sort. we'll see what that looks like in a few years!!

until next time...

in one month exactly...

my dear little sister ("dls") will be moving into her brand new dorm room in denver, colorado! i can barely wait for her to get out here!! and, on top of that, my dear big brother-in-law ("dbbil") will be moving right around the same time...and he won't just be nearby, he'll be in our very house! all that to say, we look forward with great excitement their moves! =)

well, ryan officially starts his new job tomorrow...AND the money finally came in for him to take the second Hebrew class. it's really quite amazing how it's all worked out. we prayed diligently that the money would come in for us to take the class on time (which, for all we knew, the money was due last thursday at noon and not a moment later). well, thursday came and went and the money was not there. so, we supposed that was God showing us that he wasn't supposed to take the class. well, saturday, our rebate check finally came in, much later than all of our friends...but, it was only half of what we had thought we were getting, and not enough to pay for the class (though, it didn't matter really, because it was too late to pay for the class). ryan emailed back and forth with his professor all weekend, but didn't really get anything figured out. the class started monday, so by noon on that day, we were sure there was no hope for the class any longer. but then...someone from the financial aid office contacted ryan and told him that he could still take the class as long as we paid for it by the end of the term. so...we debated about it most of the day yesterday and prayed even more last night...going back and forth between thinking that certainly God could have provided the money for us before the payment was originally due last week (so maybe we needed to just wait on the class) OR maybe God was opening a door for him to take the class. SO CONFUSING?!?! well, after praying about it and sleeping on it, ryan decided not to take the class. this morning though, at some point, he got a call from a precious, precious person (who knows just who they are!) who offered to pay for the class for him! can you believe that?!? i'm so thankful that God has provided for us and I'm thankful too for the sweet heart that is willing to help us! yay!!! =)

well, tonight holds some great excitement for us-we are about to have pizza and watch "wife swap" because we just so happened to see that someone we know is going to be on it (it's a rerun)!! we've heard about it...but want to see for ourselves!!!! =)

until next time...

an update

so...it's been a few days since i've really written. my stepmom, bette, came in thursday evening and spent the weekend with us. we enjoyed her visit so much and got a chance to do some new things. we even took a few pictures! on friday, we drove into the mountains and saw the ever-so-famous red rock amphitheater, which is a place where lots of famous people perform amazing concerts!

we also got to go bowling, which was a lot of fun. ryan jokes around about minoring in bowling during his freshman year of college... of course, he didn't actually-but he played enough during that year that he might as well have declared it a major!! and you can tell when you bowl with him...he's pretty darn good. bette told me that you are actually supposed to bowl at least your weight in order to count it as a good game... of course, i did every time-95!! *wink wink* ryan, on the other hand, actually did-203!!
my inspirational bowling ball:



the other fun thing we did this weekend was that we went to the cherry creek arts festival! there were all kinds of amazing arts around-from pottery to photography, and everything in between. there was a booth where you could spin to win a prize from the colorado ballet and/or colorado symphony. i was hesitant to try it out, because i figured i would end up winning tickets to the ballet (and the only ballet i would even dare see is one my sister is in)...but, i just couldn't pass up the chance to spin and win! and, as it turns out...i spun and..


...won tickets to the symphony-which is really, really sweet!! =)
dustin and his girlfriend brooke met up with us at the fair and we enjoyed some delicious culinary treats:




and that was that...
i have been milling something over in my head the past few days...actually since our hike this past weekend. i've been thinking about this great song "joy in the journey" that pretty much just talks about the joy that is our's for the taking in this life we live. as we were hiking the other day, i was thinking about how uncommon it is for me to just enjoy walking through the woods. usually, i'm all about where we are going and simply getting there...the walk to and fro isn't the fun part for me. but, it's nice sometimes to just enjoy a slow pace, taking time to see all the beautiful things going on around me. i got some neat pictures of butterflies and flowers, which i probably wouldn't have even noticed had i been set on the journey of making it from one place to the next... i think a lot of times life is like that for me... i'm just trying to get through work, or through my jog with ryan, or through my quite time...through life, instead of enjoying the journey, the process along the way. ryan and i have been quite anxious of late, trying to figure out just what it is that God has for us here. is it exactly what we came here for or is it maybe a little different? has He gotten us here just to change things up a little bit? answers, answers, we want answers! and we are getting them quite slowly... but, i feel like maybe we just need to enjoy the journey right now. and, so we are! but that doesn't mean we aren't still sad and a little homesick. i think it's possible to be both!

in lieu of the fourth

just a quick (though late) thought for you about our freedom: "liberty is not the ability to do as one wants, rather the ability to do as one ought."

this weekend has been pretty busy! my step mom came into town thursday evening and we have been doing this and that all weekend, which was been great fun!! for this reason, i haven't updated my blog lately... but hopefully will tomorrow. we've done some fun things and gotten some good pictures, i think-so look forward to that! :)

until next time..

yay for ryan!

ryan is officially finished with his first semester of hebrew! he worked so so so so soooo hard and i'm so proud of him! we had a nice day of celebration today, since i didn't have to work and he only had to go to the school for a minute to turn in his test. we went to eat at this place called "the spicy pickle" with a gift card my sweet mom gave me for my birthday. right before lunch, though, i went with ryan to get a drug test for his NEW JOB!!! :D (well, he'll have the job if his test comes clean ;)) we had an interesting discussion about urine screenings today. you know, i have a lot of experience with these things now...administering them at my new job, you know. anyway, i'm really surprised that the testing is what it is. it's not really a big deal for guys, but for poor girls...it's terrible. i'm sure a man invented them, and i'm surprised no one has come up with a new idea for them! anyway, that's enough about that! until next time...

today

so, this is our new favorite meal. it's a delicious parmesan chicken that i got from the barefoot contessa. the recipe is on my recipe blog, so give it a try sometime.. you won't be disappointed!! :)

well, work is getting interesting. i'm getting a few extra hours doing some odd jobs around the office, which is GREAT! i'm really enjoying the people i'm working with and all the work i'm doing, which is nice. it's nice to feel like you're job is worth something and not just a waste of time (been there, done that). i got so embarrassed today at work! :\ when i started, i dressed up for work because i just assumed i should. after a few days, i noticed the other girls doing the same thing i do didn't really dress up all that much, so i asked one of them about the dress code and she told me that it's the whole "not too tight, not too short" rule and that wearing jeans and tshirts (like nice ones) is perfectly fine..even with flipflops-which is what she wears everyday. well, today, my boss said "i'm guessing you talked with one of the other girls about what's appropriate dress attire, and i think it would be better for you to dress a little nicer...." :( i was SO embarrassed... it's not like i have been dressing poorly, but i could surely do more. :/

ryan had interviews yesterday and today, so hopefully we will hear something soon. he is the best candidate (okay, i can't figure out how to spell that...) for any and every job out there because he's the beeeeesssttttt! i only hope they can see it! =)

i'm watching this new show called "the secret life of the american teenager"...it's pretty interesting so far...i'm outtie!